1. |
Ironic Anymore
01:00
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I don’t wanna be ironic anymore
I genuinely like rewatching Jersey Shore
And that’s just how I feel
I think i’m struggling to be fucking for real
And I hate the way I wish that I was smart
I need explainings when I didn’t get that part
And I didn’t get that part
But I got twenty shirts that all start with I heart
So don’t tell me if you think that this is dumb
I’m not embarrassed cause I’ve seen the stuff you’ve done
And I don’t need anyone
And here I go again I’m lying through my tongue
And I don't wanna be ironic anymore
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2. |
Attention Span Man
00:46
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I am the attention span man
(Please keep watching)
I have read three books
In my life
I can’t pay attention man damn
(Very satisfied)
Meditation yoga app is a lie
I am Mister next next next next next
I need Mr.Beast pacing in my mind
I am Mister Minecraft puzzle, horseshoe shaver, pimple popper, Subway Surfer
I am the attention span man
I can’t pay attention man damn
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3. |
Youtube Thumbnail
00:50
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We need to understand the art of a YouTube thumbnail
Analyse them all and I bet that we will
Start to sell a lot more books If we
Changed the cover and replace it for a hook like
A thousand blind people see for the first time
I spent fifty hours buried alive
Now that's the competition for Lord of the Flies Moby Dick Twilight Catcher and the Rye
Every album ever could be a click bait
Artist on the cover making this stupid face
Breakup storytime
Plus I get my drivers licence
I define the sound of an entire generation challenge
I think it works also for movies
Don’t Worry Darling
Becomes Harry Styles sorry
In brackets
Apology video
I don’t know about you but that probably would’ve made me go
Textbooks
Street signs
Attention span decline
Recipes
Hair styles
Dating app profiles
We could use it for the news
But I guess they already do
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4. |
Bo Bridgers
00:49
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What if Phoebe Bridgers has a child with Bo Burnham?
A crossover episode for their fans
It's the heirest for annoying people kingdom
A child to rule stick and poke land
It’s Brangelina for zoomers with
Prescription refills for Ativan
Its like Kimye for vegans
That accidentally kill all their house plants
In the pretentious indie version of the Bible
They warned us that a child would be sent
Sarcastic in falsetto
Jesus
I am ready
Please save us from
Saturday Night Live
We need you
Can you hear me?
Or is the prophecy
A TMZ type lie
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5. |
How To Tell
00:57
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I could not give a crap about your horoscope
Just tell me which apps that your brain decided
To put at the bottom of your phone
That's how to tell
How we’ll know
With your safari music messages and telephone kinda life
Your probably just fine
There is no INTJ type quiz that you could ever take
That could beat seeing your frequently used emojis page
That's how to tell
We can see from
Your peculiar little face variety
You're a freak,
(And what's this one supposed to mean)
There is nothing that you wouldn’t know
That the NSA can’t see on my phone
Don't know which Black Mirror episode this is
But we’re past the harry potter house quizzes
How to tell
Who are you
Does the text read green or blue
Who's your favourite ex to lurk
Does your spell check do the heavy work
That's how to tell
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6. |
The Company Tiktok
00:49
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These company Tik Tok’s
Have to embrace
What the kids do and say
If they wanna relate
Because
We wanna feel
Like Duolingo is real
Like Slim Jims is my friend
Cause they speak in meme trends like
POV
My face when
Literally me when
That feeling when
Nobody: Me:
Or POV
I’m dead tag
Somebody
Please do a duet
And find out
Which Burger King item
Will represents me
POV
Crying laughter emoji
In the comments
So we can see
Their being honest
And quirky
POV
the PR employee
Doesn’t make quite enough
Money to hit the griddy for Old Navy
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7. |
Panic Attack Song
00:39
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My fear receptors got a raise because they’re working over time
And then my eyes said that I’m safe but then my brain says that’s a lie
I never smoke or drink a coffee if I do I just might cry
And I envision each decision and they way that I might die
P
Pan-ic
Panic Attack
Eyes become a tunnel and my throat becomes a funnel
No saliva on my tongue and all the sweat thats in my bum
There's too much sweat inside my bum inside my lungs are having fun
I think it's done
I think it's done
Oh, it’s not done
I think I
P
Pan-ic
Panic Attack
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8. |
This Isn’t It
00:54
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When I was in grade 6 I almost had a girlfriend
For our second date we saw a movie on the weekend
I nervously put my arm around her
The circulation really made my hand hurt
And then I turned to her and we shared a kiss
We’re just two awkward children making out during This Is It
And Micheal Jackson’s singing beat it in the background
At this point we weren't aware of his background
I don’t think she enjoyed it
I definitely could’ve used chapstick
The date was so frustrating
So I gave MJ a really low rating
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9. |
Is It Normal?
00:51
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Is it normal to have
One million unread emails?
Is it normal not to care about the watching of whales?
They’re much too far away
Is it normal to cry
While watching click for the seventeenth time?
it's sad that he ignores his dad
Then rapidly grows old
Till he’s dying all alone
Is this a children’s show?
Is it normal?
Is it weird?
That I can't shotgun a beer because
I’m twenty four years young with a raging Tums problem
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10. |
Chunk of Brain
00:52
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My brain is not fully developed until I turn 25
There’s a little chunk of brain out there
That in two months will arrive
And I’m really counting on the chunk to be a quite large size
And to know all of the answers to my who what where’s and why’s
Like who invented rippled knee pants and should they be charged with a crime
And what kind of cringe to I fit in if I was born between to generation lines
And where do they keep Tom Holland’s mole when they casted him in spiderman 5
Or when will I find a regular job instead of googling words that rhyme
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11. |
Awkward Death
00:56
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I hope that I don’t die in an awkward way
Like choking on spit or spraining a leg
Ow Ow Ow
I hope that I don’t die in an awkward place
Like farting on the dance floor
(Farting on the dance floor)
Pushing on a pull door
(Pushing on a pull door)
Opening your softcore porn in the grocery store from the night before
I hope that I don’t die on an awkward day
Like a Tuesday or a Thursday
On a first date you take me to an ice rink
I need the bar cause I don’t know how to ice skate
But I’ll still fall and turn the ice to dark pink
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12. |
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When I said lol
I didn’t laugh
When I said hahahaha
I didn't hahaha at all
When I said oh my god
It was more like oh
But I think your really really cute and I wanna know you
When I said heyyy
It’s spelt that way for a reason
When I said on my way home
That means I just got out of bed
You sent a song
And I really like it
But I think your really really cute and I wanna know you
But it turns out your a dude and you just turned forty two
And you said your name is Bethany
But I know its Jeffery
I went to highschool with your son
And you want pictures of my bum
Fuck, not again
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